suen
1
Ask Me
Some time when the river is ice ask me
mistakes I have made. Ask me whether
what I have done is my life. Others
have come in their slow way into
my thought, and some have tried to help
or to hurt: ask me what difference
their strongest love or hate has made.
I will listen to what you say.
You and I can turn and look
at the silent river and wait. We know
the current is there, hidden; and there
are comings and goings from miles away
that hold the stillness exactly before us.
What the river says, that is what I say.
William Stafford
问我
什么时候当河水成了冰，问问我
犯了些什么错误。问问是否
我所做的就是我的人生。别的人
按照他们缓慢的方式进入了
我的思绪，有些人试图帮助
或伤害：问问我他们最强烈的
爱或恨有什么不同的结果
你说什么，我都会倾听。
你和我可以转身，打量
那静静的河水，等待。我们知道
水流就在那儿，潜藏着：而且
数英里之外有水的来来往往
守着我们眼前的这片宁静
河水所说的，正是我的心声。
作者 / [美国]威廉·斯塔福德
翻译 / 刘锋
Last edited by @suen 2024-10-03T00:49:21Z
2 Likes
垂詢我
當河水凝結成冰之時，來問詢我吧，
問我曾犯下何種錯失。問我是否
我所做的便是我的一生。他人
以他們緩慢的步履走進
我的思緒，有的曾試圖伸出援手，
有的則帶來傷害：問詢我，他們濃烈的
愛或恨，最終造成了怎樣的不同。
我會聆聽你的話語。
你我可一同轉身，凝視
那靜默的河流，靜靜等待。我們深知
水流就在那裡，隱藏著；而那
來自遠方的湧動與消逝，
共同維繫著眼前的這份寧靜。
河流訴說的，便是我想表達的。
Ask Me (Revised Translation)
When the river sleeps beneath a sheet of ice, ask me
about the missteps I’ve made. Ask me if
what I’ve done truly defines my life. Others
have entered my thoughts, each at their own pace,
some seeking to help, others to inflict pain: ask me
what difference their fiercest love or hate has made.
I will listen to all you have to say.
Together, we can turn and gaze upon
the silent river, and wait. We know
the current flows beneath the surface, unseen; and that
the ebb and flow from distant miles
sustains this stillness before us.
What the river whispers, I echo.
Changes made:
- More poetic language: Replaced some literal translations with more evocative language to capture the poem’s tone.
- Improved flow and rhythm: Adjusted phrasing to create a smoother reading experience.
- Clarified meaning: Made minor adjustments to ensure the translation accurately reflects the original meaning.
- Maintained the simplicity and directness: While enhancing the language, I strived to preserve the poem’s essential simplicity and straightforwardness.
This revised translation aims to better capture the essence of William Stafford’s poem, conveying its contemplative mood and profound message.
Night
5
询问我
在河水凝冰之时的某刻，询问我
我曾犯下的过错。询问我
过往所为是否就是我的一生。他人
已以自己的步调缓慢迈入
我的思绪，试图伸出援手
抑或是带来伤害：询问我，他们刻骨的
爱与恨，为我带来何种改变。
我将聆听你的话语。
你我可一同转身，凝视
静候那沉寂的河流。我们知道
暗潮存在着，隐藏着；而那
万里远的彼岸有着无数潮与汐
撑起我们面前这份宁静。
河水的回音，即是我的回应。
7 Likes
gggggg
7
不知道为啥每次看到河水想到的都是“门前流水尚能西，休将白发唱黄鸡。”嗯，都挺自由的。
suen
8
4 Likes
